We live in a toxic culture that simultaneously praises hyper sexuality one second and condemns it another. The line between pornography and mainstream media blurs everyday as more and TV shows, movies, advertisements and music videos mimic the same provocative scenarios from porn. Pole dancing classes are nearly as popular as Zumba and yoga classes. You are just as likely to see a 35 year old twerking as you would a 4 year old. There are too many conflicting message coming from media, but the worst of them are having a harmful effect on women and girls across the ages.
It seems a
little unfair to automatically point a finger at “the media,” but now more than
ever are people entrenched in some form of media entertainment. Since we spend
so many hours out of the day on our computers, tablets, and smartphones, it’d be ludicrous
not to discount the large effect it has on people—especially young people. I’ll
focus in particular on its effect on girls since whether or not they realize it;
it will progressively warp their personal perspective on the world.
Within the
last decade we have witnessed a progressive sexualization of girls at younger
and younger ages. From a very young age, little girls have the understanding
that they are “supposed” to be a certain way. Let's pause for a second and think
of all the adjectives you use describing little girls:
- · Pretty
- · Cute
- · Sweet/nice/ polite
- · Dainty
- · Adorable
- · Angel/ Angelic
Of course the list could go on,
but to make a point, I’ll list a few things people use to describe little boys:
- · Strong/tough/ powerful
- · Wild/ adventurous/fearless
- · Curious
- · Troublemaker
- · Athletic
We groom our girls to behave in a
more docile way than boys. Even if they barely get a chance to watch Disney
movies or other children’s media, parents often rather innocently ingrain
gender stereotypes through play. Think about it: what sorts of toys do you see
marketed towards girls? Why are the toy aisles in stores color-coded? There is
nothing wrong with letting your daughter play with baby dolls or domestic play
sets (tea sets, mock stoves etc.), but realize you are suggesting to her that
this is all girls can ever do. They aren’t supposed to shoot guns, hunt, ride
motorcycles or work in construction or build things. No that is for boys.
Now by the time girls are
encroaching on puberty they really
start to get crushed under the heels of expectation. Jean Kilbourne, author of Can’t Buy My Love, described it best, “Girls who were active,
confident, feisty at the ages of eight and nine and ten often become hesitant,
insecure, self-doubting at eleven. Their self-esteem plummets.” Why though? It
seems even the most outgoing of girls with supportive parents will suffer at some
capacity from this obsession with being “feminine.” From pre-pubescence onward,
girls quickly begin to learn that their value as human beings lies not in their
intellect or opinions, but in their looks.
Should we really have 8 year olds
worrying that they’re too fat? Should 12 year olds be spending long tracks of
time in the morning coordinating makeup with their outfits? This obsession
with looks is more than girls “just being girls,” as they say. I would more
accurately describe it as girls developing borderline personality disorder as they
spend X amount of time in front of their shrine (a mirror with cosmetics),
ritualistically sacrificing their true selves to become the goddess the world
expects.
Dramatic though that may sound, ask
yourself how long you or your girlfriend/daughter/wife/sister takes to get
ready in the morning. If the answer is longer than 10-15 minutes, than you see my
point.
For youth, all the things that
trend on the internet and on popular shows cycle around and become important to
them. In addition to the peer pressure of being accepted as “cool,” girls are
learning what they think boys like about girls. The horrifying part of this is
boys don’t really know what they want yet (how can you with your hormones
jerking about at random? Some men are 40 and don’t know). Both appear to be
seeking what pop culture dictates as desirable. One thing has remained the
same: sex appeal.
Pop culture instructs girls to
somehow remain innocent and virginal, yet be seductive and sexual. Innocence is
sexy possibly because it’s a turn on to corrupt something deemed as pure. It is
sold to us in numerous advertisements and suggested in every music video. Our culture rewards slutty behavior, and even
the most “proper” of girls will go out of their way to expose the perfect
amount of bare cleavage, or wear clothes that reveal every curve.
But society has accepted levels of
slutty/whore-like behavior. For example, dry humping people or grinding poles at night clubs? No
problem, we love to watching it. Flash your breasts on Spring Break in Miami? Still
okay. Get raped on your way to you car
in broad daylight? Number one question asked: “What was she wearing?” Since
when did tight clothing translate to “Rape me, I’m asking for it?” Girls are
being sexualized at younger ages. Just look at one truly over the top episode
of Dance Moms that aired in 2012; the
girls performed a burlesque feather routine wearing costumes to give the
illusion of nudity. A more recent example can be of the music video “ElasticHeart” by Sia, it features a 12 year old dancer and actor Shia LaBeouf in a
cage. The video had people wondering if they were going to see a pedophilia
snuff film or an artistic, interpretive, dance battle.
A lot of parents have videos on Facebook and
YouTube of their girls imitating dance moves of Beyoncé, Ariana Grande, Nicki
Manaj and various other female pop icons. It may seem cute at first that your
daughter is trying to shake it like Beyoncé, but those moves are of a highly
sexual nature. If you encourage that, you are putting her at risk of not only
sexual abuse but of having a warped sense of self. The last thing you want is
for you little girl to think her only purpose is to sexually satisfy the needs
of men.
To
be continued in Pernicious Perfection: Dangers of Female Objectification
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